July 22, 2010 – 4:23 pm
With the imminent launch of the latest Apple iPhone4 onto the Irish market and amidst rumours of poor reception and phone calls being dropped, we thought we would instigate our own study before we released our new iFoam4 mobile phone prop.
We made a decision to forgo the engineering experimentation in our R&D workshops and jump straight into the field work development. The results have proven to be a little muddy but we put this down to the recent heavy rain; we expect things to improve when the weather picks up.
Our test phone, however, performed very well in these conditions, as it acted as a wind-break and as an umbrella. This disproves the myth that the iFoam can’t multi-task.
The key issues that users of the new iPhone 4 are complaining about are: that they are dropping calls when they hold the phone a certain way, and that they have poor network reception.
We believe that our new mobile cellphone will operate faultlessly, but we will offer our customers an instructional DVD called “Get a Grip”, showing users how they can effectively hold their phone and get accustomed to a new iFoam user experience.
Secondly, we will offer an external antenna that is capable of receiving all kinds of radio waves, television transmissions and satellite signals. This cost effective add-on will be called the iFart (iFoam Aerial-Antenna).
Tests indicate that our external aerial is proving to be very receptive, much better than putting the phone into a rubber case. We even managed to pick up an extra-terrestrial message from E.T.’s mum. She wanted to thank Elliot for looking after E.T., and to tell him that he got home OK.
If you have any suggestions on what other messages the ifart might pick up, please leave a comment and we will investigate it further, with the best comment receiving a prize made from styrofoam.
We have discovered that the name iFart is already being used. Yes, as you would probably guess it’s an iphone app that makes ‘sounds for the ultimate in poop gas realism’. Ah well, back to the drawing board.